((( STAR TREK LAVATORIES )))

'Dear Lord, thank thee for my holographic droppings.
I would never know what it's like to be human
without having to put up with all that...shit!'

Ever wonder why you never see 

toilets on Star Trek Starships? 

Because in the 24th century they use technology 

to 'beam it' out of there!

Instead of using a toilet you say...

BOWEL DROP ENERGIZE!

Scottie, beam it out!

I dream of living in a Star Trek world
where you never need to use the bathroom




'Number One, you have the conn
I have to take a dump'

Can you imagine people in Heaven,
after a few thousand years, saying:

'Gosh, I sure miss taking a crap!'

What the hell is the point?
I've been wiping my butt all my life
and STILL do not enjoy it!

Maybe I should change my attitude???

((( IT'S ONLY A PAPER MOON )))

It is only a paper moon

Sailing over a cardboard sea

But it wouldn't be make-believe

If you believe in me

It is only a canvas sky

Hanging over a muslin tree

But it wouldn't be make-believe 

If you believe in me

Without your love

It's a honky-tonk parade

Without your love

It's a melody played 

In a penny arcade

It's a Barnum and Bailey world

Just as phony as it can be

But it wouldn't be make-believe

If you believe in me

Without your love

It's a honky-tonk parade

Without your love

It's a melody played

In a penny arcade

It's a Barnum and Bailey world

Just as phony as it can be

But it wouldn't be make-believe

If you believe in me

*New Karaoke Song

((( DANCE HALL DAYS )))

Take your baby by the hand

And make her do a high handstand

And take your baby by the heel

And do the next thing that you feel

We were so in phase

In our dance hall days

We were cool on craze

When I, you and everyone we knew

Could believe, do, and share in what was true

I said: 

Dance hall days love!

Take your baby by the hair

And pull her close and there, there, there

And take your baby by the ears

And play upon her darkest fears

We were so in phase

In our dance hall days

We were cool on craze

When I, you and everyone we knew

Could believe, do, and share in what was true

I said: 

Dance hall days love

Dance hall days

Dance hall days love

Take your baby by the wrist

And in her mouth an amethyst

And in her eyes two sapphires blue

And you need her and she needs you

And you need her and she needs you

And you need her and she needs you

And you need her and she needs you

And you need her and she needs you

We were so in phase

In our dance hall days

We were cool on craze

When I, you and everyone we knew

Could believe, do, and share in what was true

I said:

Dance hall days love

Dance hall days love

Dance hall days

Dance hall days love

Dance hall days

Dance hall days love

Dance hall days

Dance hall days love...

*New Karaoke Song