I've decided that if I am going to keep laughing at life I have no choice except to laugh at tragedy. So here is my fictional scenario of an old black woman in a nursing home accusing Bill Cosby of raping her in her youth:
MS BROWN: Oh yeah, Bill raped me when I was 14 years old!
DR WHO: Really? Tell me about it!
MS BROWN: Ah wuz tryin to make it in Hollywood at duh time and Bill Cosby told me he would make me a star so's I went up to his fancy apartment, he gave me a glass of wine and duh next thing I nose I wuz pukin in da turlet with Bill Cosby's name spelt out in alphabet soup letters swimmin in da puke!
DR WHO: You saw the name Bill Cosby spelt out in alphabet soup letters in the toilet?
MS BROWN: Yow suh! It was all dere floatin around in da puke! Mr Cosby didn't want to take me out to dinner so's he opened up a can of alphabet soup and dat is whut we done et dat night before I passed out an puked.
DR WHO: What kind of wine did Mr Cosby serve with alphabet soup?
MS BROWN: Menstrual red
DR WHO: I see. Tell me more! How did you know Mr Cosby raped you?
MS BROWN: Cuz da devil told me! And don't try an tell me dere ain't no devil cause he appeared to me and said, "Guess what, bitch? You dun been raped!!!" an I said, "NO" and da devil said, "YEE" and I said, "NO!" an da devil said, "YEE" and dis went on fer a few hours before I asked da devil, "Is dis whah mah butthole feels bigger an usual?" an da devil said, "Sho nuff!!!"
DR WHO: You're the most interesting patient, hopelessly on FDA drugs, I've ever had! Please tell me more!!!
MS BROWN: Well, Mr Cosby is lucky I dun miscarriaged. Duh next time I went to da turlet I laid two twin brown male fetuses.
DR WHO: So you are saying that if they had lived you would have twin brown boys who would both now be called Mr Brown?
MS BROWN: Yow Suh!!!! Instead of rottin in dis here nursing home I would be livin it up in Las Vegas after suing dat turd-humpin funny man for rapin me!!!! Witout tinkin, I dun flushed my brown baby boyz down der turlet! (cries)
DR WHO: God only knows what your sons would have grown up to become
MS BROWN: Dey would have been stars right up dere with whatshisname and all dem utter whats-dere-names! Now all I have left to look forward to is da paycheck you is gonna give me for dis here interview
DR WHO: Um, I'm not paying you for this interview
MS BROWN: (((SHIT!!!!!)))
